12 Insane Reasons the Left Opposes Brett Kavanaugh (Yes, These Are Real)

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh speaks while his wife Ashley Estes Kavanaugh (L) and
MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images

Democrats and the establishment media have been doing the hard and patriotic work of vetting Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee to replace Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy. And boy, are they desperate to come up with something that’ll stick.

Here are twelve of the biggest MEGA-SCANDAL bombshells so far uncovered that almost certainly disqualify him from sitting on the nation’s highest court.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Will Affect the Outcome of Supreme Court Decisions

During a Tuesday appearance on PBS’s NewsHour, Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) stunned the world when she informed host Judy Woodruff that, as a Supreme Court Justice, Kavanaugh could affect the outcome of decisions made on the Supreme Court:

WOODRUFF: As you know, the president is calling Judge Kavanaugh one of the most qualified people ever to be nominated to the Supreme Court. Your view?

HARRIS: Well, listen, I would categorize this nomination differently, which is that this is one of the most important positions on the United States Supreme Court, because, of course, replacing Kennedy is about the swing vote on the United States Supreme Court.

It is outrageous Trump could not find someone to nominate whose vote will not count.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Will Kill People

It does not get any more prestigious than the Yale Law community, and when over 200 students, faculty, and alumni gather together to tell us Kavanaugh will start killing people on the Court, we need to pay attention.

“People will die if he is confirmed,” their open letter reads, and it is time for those opposed to people dying to get together and stop the killing of people.

Because if we do not, people will die.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Is a White Male

If you do not find Yalelies compelling, I dare you to deny the wisdom of former members of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign, those who have formed the group Demand Justice, and have broken the news that Brett Kavanaugh is a white guy.

“Trump’s judges are overwhelmingly white men,” they wrote on their website.

Demand Justice was founded by Brian Fallon, Hillary’s former campaign spokesman, who is himself a white male; so if we are not supposed to take white males seriously, this creates a bit of a dilemma because we have a white male wanting to be taken seriously when telling us not to take another white male seriously, so if we are not supposed to take a white male can someone please help me because my brain just locked up.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh’s First Name Is ‘Brett’

White male Stephen Colbert dug up the fact that “Brett Kavanaugh” sounds like “a waiter at Ruby Tuesday’s.”

At first glance, that sounds like a ridiculous reason not to confirm a Supreme Court Justice, but hear Colbert out:

I don’t know much about Kavanaugh but I’m skeptical because his name is Brett. That sounds less like a Supreme Court justice and more like a waiter at a Ruby Tuesday. “Hey everybody, I’m Brett, I’ll be your Supreme Court justice tonight. Before you sit down, let me just clear away these rights for you.”

And the fact that one-percenter Colbert has probably not seen the inside of a Ruby Tuesday’s since Friends was on the air should not color our admiration of his penetrating insight.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Was Nominated During the Current Year

NBC News’ Katy Tur, who has a real nose for these things, informed us of this shocking reveal Wednesday:

Do you think it’s appropriate to continue to take such a strict originalist view of the Constitution given it’s 2018 and not 1776? … The arc of history has shown that opinions have become more progressive… Americans are more progressive. Look at the polling. Most Americans support Roe v. Wade, gun control. They are split whether states should be able to restrict firearm ownership. But when it comes to money and politics, a majority want the next Justice to support limits on campaign spending by corporations and unions that goes against the Citizens United position.

Tur nosed around and discovered the year is not 1776;  and thanks to her keen sense of smell when it comes to sniffing out a big story, everyone now nose knows this, which is why Tur always beaks breaks the big stories.

Yep, those first and second amendments are long past their stale date, and it is time we had a Supreme Court that understands this.

Fact Check: Ms. Tur is off on her facts, but just by a nose. The Constitution was not written in 1776; that was the Declaration of Independence. The Constitution and Bill of Rights were adopted in 1789 and 1791, respectively.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Likes Baseball

The essential Washington Post reports that Brett Kavanaugh not only likes baseball, he likes it so much he bought season tickets with his credit card. But this is just the beginning…

Sources inform me, the Washington Post is very close to nailing down stories that will reveal Kavanaugh’s similar affection for apple pie, his mother, the American flag, hot dogs, the Baby Jesus, and that poster of Raquel Welch in a fur bikini.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Ran Up Credit Card and Loan Debt

The essential Washington Post broke the news Wednesday that, in 2016, Brett Kavanaugh was in debt to the tune of $60,000 to $200,000.

Apparently, Kavanaugh went into debt to purchase season baseball tickets (see #6) for himself and for his friends.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Paid Off His Debts

The essential Washington Post reports that in 2017, Brett Kavanaugh’s “credit card debts and loan were either paid off or fell below the reporting requirements.” Apparently, this happened after his friends reimbursed him for the season baseball tickets he purchased on their behalf (see #6 and #7).

In other words… Brett Kavanaugh purchased season baseball tickets for his friends… who later reimbursed him.

Un-be-leeeev-a-bull.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Drank Beer in College

The irreplaceable Washington Post once again brings democracy to darkness, or darkness to democracy, or light to the darkness of democracy, or darkness to my brain locked up again.

“In Kavanaugh’s Georgetown Prep yearbook,” the darkness lighters at WaPo report, “he listed himself as the treasurer of the Keg City Club — 100 Kegs or Bust and included references to the Beach Week Ralph Club and Rehoboth Police Fan Club.

In other words, Donald Trump nominated a man for the Supreme Court who enjoys baseball, beer, the beach, and police officers.

  1. Most of Brett Kavanaugh’s Law Clerks Were Women

The indispensable New York Times reports that of the 48 law clerks Kavanaugh hired over the years, 25 were women, and they are now vouching for his integrity and professionalism.

This is [checks notes] a bad thing. I’m shocked that this is actually allowed to happen in the era of #MeToo.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Has Two Daughters

The essential HuffPo reports that Brett Kavanaugh is “an attentive father to two young daughters and a man who has actually hired women more than a few times to work with him,” but correctly points out that “this, of course, is almost totally irrelevant when it comes to whether he would make a good Supreme Court justice.”

And that is exactly right, because we all know that if Brett Kavanaugh was a terrible father who never hired women, HuffPo would find that just as irrelevant.

Remember, character no longer counts, unless we are talking about Trump, then character counts even though it didn’t for Bill Clinton but does not again with Kavanaugh because brain lock.

  1. Brett Kavanaugh Might Have Mouthed the Word ‘Bitch’ at Hillary 20 Years Ago

While the media have made it okay to call Ivanka Trump a “feckless cunt,” President Trump a “cockholster,” and to boo a rape victim, the word “bitch” has not yet been cleared by our media ministers.

Calling Hillary Clinton a “bitch” (according to a single source, her bottom bitch David Brock) is obviously a disqualifier to sit on the Supreme Court — which means that seat will never be filled.

 

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.

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